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[impure_tale]

Captain Kirk, I would hate to think that punctuality is no longer considered a virtue among men of rank where you come from.

Comments

He's being a dick... because he can be.

[captain-jtkirk.livejournal.com]

What'd I tell you about those big words, Marquis de Sade?

You want me to call you that? Marquis de Sade? Or do you want something shorter or your first name or oh, how about I give you a creepy nickname?

[impure-tale.livejournal.com]

Oh, is someone a little cranky?

Is it a little too early in the day to be asking my Warden to do his job?

Ma pauvre petit capitaine. I ask so much of you!

[captain-jtkirk.livejournal.com]

At least you admit to being needy and demanding.

What if I don't think you earned the right to have me do you favors?

[impure-tale.livejournal.com]

You already said you would get me parchment.

[captain-jtkirk.livejournal.com]

I never said when I would do it. Maybe I'm busy.

[impure-tale.livejournal.com]

You have a job aboard this ship.

[captain-jtkirk.livejournal.com]

Being your glorified babysitter, yeah, I remember.

But no offense, you're not enough to sustain me completely.

[impure-tale.livejournal.com]

You say that as though you carry out your duties at all.

I wash my hands of you.

[captain-jtkirk.livejournal.com]

Oh come on, don't be like that. We had a drink. We shared life stories. We're practically best friends now.

YOU BROKE MY HEART, JIMMY

[impure-tale.livejournal.com]

That hardly makes you a Warden, boy.

Jim Kirk: breaking hearts since 2233

[captain-jtkirk.livejournal.com]

Enlighten me on what makes me a Warden then.

[supersuitup.livejournal.com]

Captain Kirk?

[captain-jtkirk.livejournal.com]

Yes?

[supersuitup.livejournal.com]

Like, Kirk. As in Shatner and "KAAAAAAAHHHHNNN!!!" He's here?

[Private to Barney]

[impure-tale.livejournal.com]

Likely the very same.

The self-important little goon is about as effective as having no Warden at all.

[Private]

[supersuitup.livejournal.com]

Hey, sounds like my Warden!

Which would be ideal, I mean, if he didn't play Warden at really inconvenient times.

[captain-jtkirk.livejournal.com]

As in captain of the Enterprise. As in I'm talking to you right now. So what do you want?

[supersuitup.livejournal.com]

You're not Kirk. There aren't enough hilarious and poorly timed ellipses in your speech.

[captain-jtkirk.livejournal.com]

Is it really possible to tell how many times I pause in my speech when I'm not technically speaking right now?

...I THOUGHT IT WAS A VOICE RESPONSE, FU

[supersuitup.livejournal.com]

Uhhh, duh because Captain Kirk would totally not type-slash-write into a journal; he'd have a device to transcribe his monologues.

And, obvs, the device would make note of each and every masterful use of the ellipses!

WELL OBVS IT WAS NOT CAUSE IT WAS NOT MARKED AS SO

[captain-jtkirk.livejournal.com]

Contrary to popular belief, I do know how to write and type and most of the time, I don't like talking to myself in monologues. It's why I used to make Spock do the daily logs.

SHUT UP WITH YOUR LOGIC (and this is his first 4th wall breaking, I think)

[supersuitup.livejournal.com]

...

Okay.

Is there a Trekkie convention here that I don't know about?

Logic is how we roll in space! Also, Kirk has no idea what you mean so he lies

[captain-jtkirk.livejournal.com]

Uh...

No.

[supersuitup.livejournal.com]

Suuuure, 'Captain Kirk'.

[captain-jtkirk.livejournal.com]

Do that again and I'll make sure you won't remember today.

[supersuitup.livejournal.com]

Did you just threaten to roofie me?

[captain-jtkirk.livejournal.com]

It was kind of more like a promise that you'll become great friends with my fist.

[supersuitup.livejournal.com]

I really don't get why everybody here is just so aggressive.

[captain-jtkirk.livejournal.com]

Maybe you just bring it out in them.

[captain-jtkirk.livejournal.com]

Are you too picky for paper and pens?

[impure-tale.livejournal.com]

Paper, parchment -- there is no difference.

[captain-jtkirk.livejournal.com]

Interesting.

I'll get back to you.

[impure-tale.livejournal.com]

See that you do.