impure_tale

I would like to clarify a certain issue. There have been debates as to how Edward Sexby would be dealt with after he attacked me in my cabin. At the time I insisted that I would not have the Wardens vote on this for two reasons. The first, which most assume already, is that I would like to decide that myself. The second, and most important, is that I was not about to demand that a system work for me that I spat upon not two hours before I was injured.

I still will not. Sexby has since sent messengers like the craven dog he behaves as to express that he felt it unfair that the decision should be left to me. When two people of the same stature have a disagreement, why should one take authority over the other? I would see more sense in this were the querant not doing so after already deciding that I was guilty and how I was meant to be punished.

No, it's not fair. If we were talking about fairness I would have your last remaining hand, and fuck anyone that dares suggest I wouldn't have the right.

That he would have the audacity to send people and not face me and speak with me as one man professing equality would to another is enough to shake away the layers of medicine and drug. I am angry and my body complains with me.

I have not made my decision. This whining will not induce me to consider more quickly. It is my answer and I shall render it when I wish to.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Emilia certainly had more sense than to act on it and Judas... [Well, he wasn't going to get into Judas.]

I would hope you had no illusions about my intimate life, anyway. [Pause.] That's not the point!

I should think it is. You're more devious than that; I never would have figured you to be so...vanilla.

It isn't! [He folded his arms across his chest and sat back, pouting. Muttering:] I learned through my actions with Judas. [He was too busy being offended to be embarrassed now.]

Stop teasing me about it and help me.

What would you like to know, Iago?

Something. [He didn't know what to ask for. He went back to muttering.] He's asked me to have something to do tonight that's different. Since I rejected his idea.

Why did you reject his idea?

Because it was strange. [Meaning new and confusing.] I didn't like it. It wasn't right.

Wearing a uniform wasn't right.

Wearing the uniform and...pretending what he...I don't know. That wasn't right.

...Iago, have you ever read any of my stories?

I make a point to avoid them.

They're fictions. In future parlance, fantasies. Not real, meant to stimulate the senses and nothing more. Taking a role can be similar.

[Iago thought about this for a moment. He did respect his warden, yes...but he didn't know.]

Is it done, then? It's not...deviant? [He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.]

What do you mean when you say 'deviant'? [Mind you, he's a libertine. This was normal for him once upon a time.]

[Iago's boring and is just now discovering that sex can be fun instead of something to be used. He'll take what advice he can get.]

...I'm not sure. Wrong. Deviant.

[Mild eye roll here.] The only thing wrong in the bedroom is what someone did not consent to.

Oh. [Well, that actually made some sense in his mind. He let it process for a moment before he spoke.]

What do I do?

Nothing that you are afraid to do. Taking a role can ease that. A dominant man accustomed to controlling every other aspect of his life might find release in playing the part of the servant, for instance. Where he might fear ceding control in any other situation, there it is safe.

[He squirmed uncomfortably in the chair and stood up instead, beginning to pace.]

Release? [Giving up control of any kind wasn't good! That wasn't fun! He often had to fight to keep it, anyway.]

No.

[He sighed] Iago, I am being purposefully more vague with you so that you do not flee this room estranged forever.

I came to you, Marquis. I'm not leaving so easily. I...[He threw his hands into the air.] I will not be made into a fool because of this.

You are not a fool. Everyone begins somewhere, after all. [Honestly he never thought they would be having this conversation] And no, while ceding control of anything, for you, may not seem an attractive prospect, you might also relish the roles switching. However, given Doctor Lewis' recent public announcement, it is perhaps not the best of ideas to insist on it just yet. But for you, it is not about losing control. It is about feeling safe. Sometimes the act of 'being' another person helps with that.

Oh. [Feeling comfortable enough again, he sat back down.] I'm not the one who was insisting on it. He was.

What else is there? Aside from being another person.

It's about finding scenarios and roles to play that excite you, Iago.

[He didn't look particularly pleased with that. It meant that he would have to actually figure it out himself, which didn't appeal to him at all. But, he had enough.]

Perhaps. [He stood up again, though this time to leave.] You think no less of me? [He picked up the jacket but did not put it on.]

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impure-tale.livejournal.com - 2011-06-23 17:46 (UTC) - Expand

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