impure_tale: (oddly tender)
impure_tale ([personal profile] impure_tale) wrote2011-09-07 11:17 pm

176

I find myself in better spirits of late. Renate does not tire me so easily on her walks any longer, though they are still rather trying. I do not go into the enclosure without my cane because I will find myself leaning upon it sooner or later. The pain returns like clockwork, but not so intensely. Often in other ways, as though the small ruptures in bone are not the problem so much as every organ, nerve, and sliver of muscle around them are working especially hard not to come into contact with them. It's a feeling of strain, most certainly.

Not the manner of agony I would use to inspire me, I'm afraid. I would thank Monsieur Sexby again but I fear at present all he shall do is stare at me blankly, like a cow at an oncoming coach. I cannot trouble myself with such things as memory loss, for I am feeling nostalgic.

I remember when I first came to the barge I found myself rather smitten with an innocent young Warden who had come aboard, by name of Giselle. It is so very, very rare that I feel the impulse to slip away from my familiar and comfortable perversions, the amusement that comes of shocking the more conservative, of discourse with persons given to a greater plane of understanding when it comes to my playful eccentricities. On occasion yes, even I find myself desirous of the preservation of more...innocent inclinations. Giselle was one such individual, perhaps because her innocence was so very genuine. This might come of the fact that she seemed to have existed in a world free of the evils that scarred the cratered, bloodsopped landscape that was my first life. I deigned to offer my arm as a gentleman would. I spoke sweet odes, wooed her as I would the gentle ladies and courtesans of my youth, tried ever-so-hard not to permit my body its characteristic stirrings when she would throw my arms about my neck and embrace me, trusting always my intentions and never knowing the struggles that come of traitorous bloodflow. It was some months before I no longer suffered such instinctual responses, and our relationship had changed considerably, understandably.

She and my Paviche, perhaps my two great loves aboard this ship, and of two very different breeds. My mind is too often set upon my work and little else. I rather think I would relish my next glorious pursuit, and so long as my dear Prefect is content to continue playing hard to get, I suppose I shall have to choose another, oui?

L'amour, my barge. We should all benefit from a little more of it in our lives.

[identity profile] impure-tale.livejournal.com 2011-09-08 05:38 am (UTC)(link)
Not at all. You dislike being damp. Do you then take comfort and pleasure in having this remedied?

[identity profile] buywithme.livejournal.com 2011-09-08 05:41 am (UTC)(link)
I don't think it's possible for these things to be entirely dry. If you offer to prove it to me then I'll think it's a trick!

[identity profile] impure-tale.livejournal.com 2011-09-08 05:44 am (UTC)(link)
You're not answering my question.

[identity profile] buywithme.livejournal.com 2011-09-08 05:46 am (UTC)(link)
I don't know, having my dampness remedied is normally a perfunctory process which I derive neither pleasure nor displeasure from.

[identity profile] impure-tale.livejournal.com 2011-09-08 05:47 am (UTC)(link)
It's a matter of intimacy, I should think. As the events previous are an act shared between two people so too can be what occurs afterward.

[identity profile] buywithme.livejournal.com 2011-09-08 05:52 am (UTC)(link)
...

I don't like intimacy. It only leads to dampness.

[identity profile] impure-tale.livejournal.com 2011-09-08 05:54 am (UTC)(link)
The aftermath need not be so troubling. Would there be no merit in say, a tryst with the man or woman of your choice, and afterward they might bathe you?

[identity profile] buywithme.livejournal.com 2011-09-08 05:58 am (UTC)(link)
[Thinking about it...]

[...signs point to awkwardness.]

I think it would be really strange to be washed by another person.

Unless they were using a hose and there were lots of you to get through, so you didn't have time for a normal shower.

[identity profile] impure-tale.livejournal.com 2011-09-08 06:03 am (UTC)(link)
[He actually laughs at this.]

I suppose it would depend upon how much you trust them. It's about feeling safe, dumpling. They're taking care of you.

[identity profile] buywithme.livejournal.com 2011-09-08 06:05 am (UTC)(link)
It seems more like me being lazy, Comrade. Why should I make someone else wash me? I can do that myself.

[identity profile] impure-tale.livejournal.com 2011-09-08 06:06 am (UTC)(link)
Because it pleases them to look after you.

[identity profile] buywithme.livejournal.com 2011-09-08 06:10 am (UTC)(link)
I think feeling that dependent on someone would be weird. It'd feel like you were imposing on them all the time.

[identity profile] impure-tale.livejournal.com 2011-09-08 06:16 am (UTC)(link)
Then they must assure you otherwise.

[identity profile] buywithme.livejournal.com 2011-09-08 06:19 am (UTC)(link)
Well that would be even worse, no one wants to be with someone who they have to constantly be reassuring.

[identity profile] impure-tale.livejournal.com 2011-09-08 06:21 am (UTC)(link)
If they care then they do not mind, Prefect.

[identity profile] buywithme.livejournal.com 2011-09-08 06:27 am (UTC)(link)
Yes, but if I cared then I would mind.

[identity profile] impure-tale.livejournal.com 2011-09-08 06:28 am (UTC)(link)
What am I going to do with you, Prefect?

Strikes obliterated before they could reach you.

[identity profile] buywithme.livejournal.com 2011-09-08 06:31 am (UTC)(link)
Have theoretical conversations with me. Forever.

Also sh--

[identity profile] impure-tale.livejournal.com 2011-09-08 06:38 am (UTC)(link)
Someday, dearheart.