-200-

[impure_tale]

Dear reader, we've been too-long apart. Too long since words have been put to paper, and too long since I've had the vicarious pleasure of a scandalized, furious blush. Perhaps the very shackles of Inmate-hood were to blame for my more inspired overtures of the past, and the guise of good behavior, with its many luxuries, has been ample enough to sate my lust for freedom since then.

But what is freedom, if not the will and the opportunity to say what we wish? And today's tale I pluck from perhaps one of my more biting, irreverent fancies.

Picture, if you will, the ancient expanses of what the devout of my time referred to as the "Holy Land," and our most revered lord, the professed son of God, Jesus Christ, traveling alone finds himself suddenly in the presence of the divine -- a beauteous yet brooding seraphim by name of Castiel...

[Fake-cut to black, and you may assume that it only gets worse from here. But you may also assume the Marquis DID put the story behind a cut, and he filtered it away from people too young to read it, because he's a responsible malcontent.]

(ooc: Yes. The Marquis just wrote offensive Rule34 BS in celebration of his 200th entry. He's been increasingly bored and restless lately. And all this fanfic talk during the breach :| Ya'll are doing it wrong. You can assume the text is rife with Biblical references that are used in horrible, laughably bad ways.)

Comments

[Private]

[umgekehrt]

[In the aftermath of Hoffman's murder and Dracula's emotional break, Stildyne hasn't had much joy in his life.

Blasphemous Rule34 was exactly what he needed tonight.]

I love your way with words.

[Private]

[impure_tale]

I aim to please.

[Video]

[slayage]

[Have an infirmary-bound death-tolling Buffy on the video. Staring. Blankly. Feeling nauseous again.]

...Wow.

[She's horrified and deeply, deeply confused.]

What just happened? Can someone find my brain for me, please? I'm pretty sure it just melted out of my ears.

[flashy_magic]

You know, I think religious types should appreciate this. I think this will bring far more interest to their religious figures than anything I've seen before.

[trenchcoatedly]

I am the Castiel in question, and I personally don't agree with this assertion.

[darknessb4me]

You would.

[video]

[trenchcoatedly]

[Castiel looks upset. Not angry, really, just a heaviness in his face, his eyes dark with exhaustion. His voice sounds resigned.]

I don't appreciate your attentions, nor do I think my vessel would.

[video]

[impure_tale]

I would favor a full critique, cherub.

[Audio]

[weshouldnthaveto]

[Just laughter. After her crazy arrival the previous night, this cheers her up. Momentarily.]

[Audio]

[impure_tale]

You do me a kindness, cheri.

[insolubleriddle]

]He decided to forgo reading the story, but that summary.]

...Splendid. I needed a chuckle.

[impure_tale]

Delighted to serve.

[bob_fraser_rcmp]

[Bob is just going to breeze past the 'fan' fiction, it's not like he hasn't read worse in Northern Canada.] Hello, Marquis.

[impure_tale]

Hello -- you must forgive me, Monsieur. I know your face, but it has been long enough that I no longer place the name.

voice forever;

[plays]

You have some stiff competition when it comes to deciding what's the most entertaining thing going on in this tub lately.

[Laughing on the inside, yes.]

voice forever;

[impure_tale]

Yes, but which will give you better foreplay?

[paradoxlol]

Bored? [Arthur will not admit he read some of it and had a chuckle at the salacious Biblical puns.]

[impure_tale]

More than I thought I would be, actually.

[...He blinks.]

...Your name is Arthur, oui?

[ichoosefight]

Oh my god. [ She should really stop saying that when Castiel is around, but oh well. ]

You are horrible!

[ Excuse her while she cackles maniacally. ]

[impure_tale]

Proud to have entertained, my dear.

Video:

[childhood_surgery]

I had not thought I would be receiving such eloquent prose on theological human mating habits.

Video:

[impure_tale]

You find me eloquent, cheri?

[huge_egomd]

[Angel porn. It appeals to his sacrilegious little heart. Also to his porn-loving heart.]

Well done. Have you considered a film adaptation?

[impure_tale]

Ah. [A wounded gasp] I could never hope to raise a suitable budget.

[with_my_teacup]

[See Riddick. See Riddick's overtly sexual sprawl back against a chair and his theatrical pout.]

You get all pissy when I try to set people off.

[impure_tale]

You do this with an intent toward physical violence. I, on the other hand, choose to annoy or make certain persons as uncomfortable as humanely possible.

There is a subtle difference.

[Audio]

[love_slave]

I can't read. But since everyone is so excited I'll have 790 read it out loud to me.

[He'll do it in his good romance novel voice.]

[strangehistorian]

Fiction is very strange...

[doctor_j_crane]

I'm sorry, but I made an executive decision not to read this. I simply do not want to know.