I was never in that position, myself. The only time I've ever been that... helpless was at the time of my death [Not entirely true, but there are some things he never wants to talk about (and still, that particular incident isn't even in the same league as his dreams, anyway)] But...

[He hesitates for a long time. He doesn't like telling anybody this; in fact, he distinctly recalls disliking Billy when they first met for coming to this very conclusion] I had, in my life... ordered the same thing done to others. [He scoffs, then adds in a sour tone] For a good cause.