impure_tale

Entry tags:

178

I do not suppose anyone in our infirmary can provide care and assistance for a dog as well as they might a human? After Sexby's failed attempt to re-introduce me to his warped concepts of justice, my Renate has shown a few signs of still being in pain from the struggle. It is possible she is bruised and nothing more, but it is much better to be safe, and I would be a poor keeper to ignore her needs, but she has been rather adamant to remain at my side despite what injuries she might have.

I took a fall during the incident, and while the pain is not so much worse for myself, I'm sure there are few among you that would pass up the chance to get me on one of your tables again.

...I also understand that Chief Stildyne was among those attacked. Is he still with us, then?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Not at all. How anyone can get along with him is beyond me.

Being less insufferable probably helps.

I'm not insufferable under normal circumstances. But he seems to be quite good at angering me. Besides, he's neither well-spoken nor smart enough to make up for it.

I beg to differ on your first and last assertions.

You really do have no taste, do you? How fortunate I already have a lover, then.

And is there any actual reason why you humans believe that I would be more receptive to your so called help after you made me loathe you? First Miss Tyler, now this one. It's really quite nonsensical.

You say that as though before you considered me in the running.

You wicked flirt.

As for Miss Tyler, I would think that someone of more considerable age and experience might be a welcome change, for you. I never had a high opinion of her sense of responsibility, or really of her, at all. Good riddance, in fact, but if you were willing to put up with months of her inanity, then you might at least attempt to shoulder as many with a grown man who might actually do you a service.

Unfortunately, I am not one for inter species relationships. I leave such things to the Coordinator.

And Miss Tyler was quite tolerable. A lot more tolerable than a man whose first action as my warden is to go against my wishes and invade my privacy in a way I told him I would loathe him for before he could finish. At least Miss Tyler would wish to know me through myself, not a file.

In all seriousness, you have to realize that in order for us to do our jobs, we have to know something of you. You, in particular, strike me as the sort who would not quickly volunteer information, especially if it had to do with something that caused you great distress or embarrassment. Whether you like it or not, and feel free to dislike it, your Warden must know these things. It is pointless to waste years and perhaps never find the root cause for what brought you here simply because you did not wish your history to be known.

I offered to talk with him about things I was comfortable with him knowing, actually. And I started telling Miss Tyler about what bothered me, before the Admiral decided she should leave in a show of undeniably great timing. But I shall not trust someone who violates that trust before even earning it. And I shall not listen to someone I loathe. To wait until I may trust him with knowing such things can hardly be too much to ask, especially considering that my hatred is the alternative.

And if he felt like wasting his time, he could always have requested a reassignment. I do not need a warden to find any flaws I might have and get rid of them. I've done so without Miss Tyler's help, I will do so without this Stildyne's help.

Do you really believe she never read your file?

You cannot dance about the issue with words such as 'comfort' and 'discomfort'. If the things that brought you here were comfortable things to talk about, then I daresay you would not be here at all. It takes tremendous fortitude to confront those things. Your Warden has the uneasy task of making themselves aware and finding the proper paths with which to help you approach them. Having someone know firsthand at least presents you with the benefit of not having to find the words to give exposition to something you already do not like to talk about.

She didn't read the detailed version. And she didn't just continue after I explicitly told her to stop and then talked about taking notes.

And I do not want his help! I can help myself, and I shall not betray my people just because the admiral or my warden disagrees with my morals. If there are things in there I wouldn't tell my lover, or the Doctor, I certainly will not forgive this human for taking such knowledge against my will. And as I said, if he wants an inmate interested in the nonsense he has to say and believing the excuses and false sympathy he spouts, then he should ask for another one.

You can't help yourself. That's why you're an Inmate. Whatever feelings of helplessness that creates in you is your cross to bear, but that is the reality of your situation.

You do not make the rules. You do not have the power. Finally, you can be of no help to anyone else without a willingness to accept aid, yourself. Believe me.

Of course I can. And if I were to need help, I have Omega and the Doctor for that, not some human who can read about my past before I've ever talked to him. He's a disgusting creature and I wouldn't accept his help even if I needed it.

And I've been of help, actually. And accepted aid from people that I don't find revolting.

Would it shock you at all to know there are persons on this ship that find you revolting?

Hardly. But I care little what others think of me. I shall not do it, and if you wish to spend your time with my warden, do so. I shall wait until the admiral either gives me my old one back, or someone I don't have the desire to disperse.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

178

[Private]

[Private]

[Private]

[Private]

[Private]

[Private]

[Private]

[Private]

Re: [Private]

[Private]

Re: [Private]

[Private]

[Private]

[Private]

R[Private]