232

Though it is always a breach, that one in particular always gives me some pause. It's always the same person that I become, always later in his existence on the Barge. It's given me reason to think of him at times, even worry.

I know myself to be a stubborn man no matter what my form. It shouldn't surprise me he lasts as long as he does, but it's always so frightening to find himself so...out of control of myself.

This time, he was better, and I'm overjoyed to look back and realize that. Without a Warden on his back, he had friends. He was not lonely. He was...approaching something more normal again. It reminded me much of the weeks in Charenton before the doctor came.

What still troubled me -- his door was unlocked, and he couldn't step outside. He didn't believe he could open it.

I remember being that way, in my first weeks here. Romana took such time and care coaxing me out of my room, showing me there were no bars on it. No chains.

And I look at myself now and realize that while I know there's been no lock on my door, I've still been reclusive.

I didn't come this far just to make myself a prisoner again.