impure_tale

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103

Once again, I convey my thanks to Doctor Jones, who was so kind as to look after my Renate whilst I was feeling under the weather.

In light of the recent health crisis, rehearsals are postponed.

[Private to Henry West]

I trust that if you can be so angry with the kitchen staff, you must be healthy.

[Warden Filter]

When you lose ground with your Inmate -- and nobody lie; I know most of you have had this happen -- how do you usually recover?

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[He gets a dark expression] I don't care. I can spend my time with whoever I like.

Dearheart, I am in absolute agreement with you. [However he cannot help but remember that Henry was a good deal more understanding when the Marquis, himself, had done the same thing Billy was doing now. He chose not to say this immediately, however. He took a heavier gulp -- perhaps because he was thirsty, or even because that look was a little intimidating.]

[He takes a bigger drink, too, then lets out:] I just wish he'd trust me! But it's always been like this; he always used to make comments about how I'd gotten around or what have you.

[The Marquis swallows the words that arise on impulse right along with his wine: Well you did. As much as he has no problem with that, his guest is upset enough as it is.]

I cannot say that I know the good Doctor very well, Henry, so I cannot guarantee an understanding of his motivations.

He's just behaving like a child now.

[The Marquis sighs, deciding he will want to say it until he finally does.] Henri, I don't recall you being half this incensed when I did this to you.

Edited 2010-01-08 00:38 (UTC)

[He snorts] That's because you weren't paying attention. I was. Sometimes, I spent time with him just to spite you. This was... [He shrugs a little] before we really started to care for each other.

Edited 2010-01-08 00:55 (UTC)

[The Marquis frowned at that confession, not at all certain how to take it, or if it should even matter now.] So are you here now just to spite him?

[He shakes his head] No. [Then, he sighs and runs a hand along his hair] I don't think so. I just wanted to get away.

[The Marquis nodded, looking down at the remaining contents of his glass.] I don't believe it is either fair or wise for me to advise you in this matter, I think. [He laughed a little to himself.] You know, I don't think I've ever been the 'other' in this sort of situation before.

[He takes another drink] Funny, this isn't the first time I've been accused of infidelity. Do I seem the sort?

[Somehow, defying all universal laws, the Marquis looked a little guilty.]

I think that given your desire to keep your sexual preferences secret, it surprises some people how comfortable you become, after a while. For people who are not as confident, perhaps, it can be intimidating, and lead too fears. Assumptions.

I'm not going to be a neurotic mess every time I'm in the company of another man. [He pauses, then looks at the Marquis] Is that how you felt?

[The Marquis winced] I'm a jealous bedmate, sparrow. I'm an old man. I'm overweight. I'm stylistically archaic. If I don't hold onto what I have when there are finer choices to be made, what chance have I got? You saw me after you and Billy began your relationship. I went more than half a year without any sort of liason. For a man of my appetites, that's an eternity.

Why did you do that?

You think I did that willingly?

[He looks away] Surely there were others who wanted to.

Not really. [He paused, considering.] In the last month or so before I befriended Paviche, I suspected Monsieur Foster was interested, but nothing came of it. He was not particularly assertive, and if I want a woman, I'll find a woman.

[He laughs a little at the last comment, as there's no love lost between him and Tony, but then stops, feeling a bit guilty] I'm sorry. I shouldn't laugh. [He looks at the Marquis] And I am sorry he's gone. [Much as he thinks Pavi's gross and weird]

I think it is for the better, sparrow. [He doesn't look at all like he believes it, and drinks down the last of the wine in his glass.] With the changes he has gone through, I do not think he has to rely on my macabre tastes any longer, oui?

What, do you believe that he was with you out of lack of other options? [He arches his brow] I thought you were supposed to be confident.

I'm only human. [He chuckles.] I'll flirt with anyone, sparrow, but that doesn't mean I genuinely expect my attentions to always be returned. Those months reminded me of that. I grew too comfortable before then. I took much for granted.

I don't know how it was where you're from, but where I'm from... a man's love life doesn't end when he's passed forty. I wasn't your last, and he won't be, either.

Oh no, hardly. But that tends to have more to do with divisions of power than it does the passions. [Already he was pouring more wine.] A man of high breeding or influence may continue to entertain young women, perhaps even impressionable young men, especially young men and women of a lower station, because there is an expectation for them to obey. It's an unfair advantage, but it exists. The same advantage does not remain for women unless they retain an exceptional beauty with age. I can also say that women can be less scrutinizing where I come from -- and if my brief experiences after one of the floods are any indication, a woman properly awakened is exposed to sensations that we as men must be very creative to experience ourselves, if we ever do. It does not so much require a handsome man to make that happen for them. However, I find myself in short supply when finding men who are versatile enough to take the reigns that do not scrutinize first. They have more choices.

[He mulls over what the Marquis says, nodding slowly] But what about the women here? That is... [He shrugs] Such as they are.

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